A day in the life of a piece of paper

Hi, I’m Doc.  I’m a piece of paper.  Boy, I’ve had a hard day today.  Want to hear about it?

It all started when I was abruptly seized – along with my neighbours – from out of the pristine ream I was languishing in.  We were unceremoniously fanned at both ends, then banged along the edges and shoved into the printer.

There was a whirring noise and I was grabbed by rollers and squeezed through a tiny slit.  I was being printed on.  My life was to be changed.  With printing on me, I now had meaning.  I was more than just paper.  I was … INFORMATION.

Whoever printed me didn’t seem to want to keep me.  I was folded and put into an envelope, then picked up and carried off.  It was just a short trek and soon I was in another department.

I soon discovered that I was with Jim, in Accounts.  He annotated me and stamped on me.  Ouch!  It hurt.  But I think I’ve been approved, which feels satisfying.

Then I was faxed.  Gosh, I didn’t know fax machines still existed.  The lights were really bright in there and the warbling, shrieking sound it made when it was connecting was just terrifying.  Old Jim needs some new technology.

Next thing I knew, I was being copied.  It’s a bit of a funny thing to do these days too.  And why do they want a copy of me?  Can’t they just scan me into memory and print me out or email me only when someone else needs me?  This really is an old-fashioned place.

It was time for lunch.  Jim ate his cheese and pickle sandwiches over me.  What a mess he made of me.  And you won’t believe what happened to me next!  Someone folded me up and made me into a paper plane.  They then spent the next ten minutes throwing me back and forth across the office while the boss was out.  I think they dislike Jim as much as I do – they seemed to be aiming my pointy end at the back of his head quite a lot!

Finally, I was straightened out and put on top of a pile of paper.  I sat on the desk for hours before someone else picked me up and whisked me off to someone else by courier.

I was in a completely different land here.  And it was far better.  They seemed much more switched on.  I was scanned and categorised.  My important information was extracted so that I could be indexed, and then I was electronically put into a storage file as an archive copy.

Then, I was duplicated again.  Electronically this time though, rather than with a copier.  Copies of me went all over the place: to Accounts, to Operations, to Distribution.  I – the original, paper version – was then put into an in-tray.  Or perhaps it was an out-tray?  The master digital copy of me is now safe and secure in a clever document management system.  And I’ve been given a password too, which means that not everyone can access me.  Good.  I don’t want that Jim getting his hands on me again!

I couldn’t help but think the people in that new land, that new company, had it sorted.  They had scanned me, automatically sent a digital copy of me to whoever needed it, archived me and kept me securely stored.  They will only need to print me out if they really need to.  It’s been so much quicker and simpler; not to mention far cheaper and easier on the environment.

I don’t know what will ultimately become of me, the paper me.  Whatever’s in store for me next, I can’t see any good coming from it.  It’s either the shredder or the recycling bin for me.  I think I’d rather be back sharing Jim’s lunch!